Be Okay
by Phoenix2312
Summary: Santana's upset and confused after Brittany leaves the choir room, but what happens when Rachel ends up being the one to comfort her? They finally end their feud and Rachel convinces Santana to go after Brittany. One-shot, Set directly after the 100th episode, Pezberry friendship


**So this is just a fluffy one-shot about Rachel and Santana's friendship. It's set immediately after the end of '100'. I wanted to have it up before tonight's episode aired, but alas, that didn't happen. I haven't watched it yet so this is just a random take on what could've happened.**

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**Be Okay  
One-Shot**

I watch Brittany walk out of the choir room, her blonde hair flowing behind her.

When she's gone I kick off my heels, pull my knees up to my chest and rest my head on them. My mind is racing a million miles an hour and I just don't know what to do.

Brittany's confession, that kiss, I've dreamed of it so many times, because even though I've tried to get over her, it's never really worked.

I mean, Dani is great, she's wonderful, and smart and beautiful and funny… but no matter what, she'll never be Brittany.

Letting out a loud sigh I sit in the silence, trying to figure out what to do. For the first time in a long time I wish I had someone to talk to, because right now, I just need someone, someone's who isn't Brittany or Dani, just a friend.

My first thought is of Quinn, but of course she'll be off with Puckerman somewhere… Then there's Lady Hummel, he's probably off with Blaine playing house, although I'm sure he'd listen if I asked, but I can't do that, he's done so much already.

Another sigh; this time it's accompanied by a hot stinging behind my eyes. Silently I curse myself, Santana Lopez does NOT cry.

But I can't help it. My emotions are bubbling up inside. I just don't know what to do. I care about Dani, and I think I could grow to love her, and more importantly she's in New York, with me. Then there's Britt, my first love, the girl I can out for, the one who has always had my heart, but she's at MIT. If I chose her how do I know it won't end up like last time we tried to long distance thing, ending in disaster and heartbreak.

On top of all these feelings, there's Rachel. I'd never be able to admit it out loud but I wish I could talk to her about this, she'd be able to help me figure it out because she's been there through it all, well most of it anyways. She's been there for me, and she knows me, a lot better than I usually care to admit. Too bad my ego and her pig-headedness got in the way.

Thoughts of Rachel cause the tears to finally spill from my eyes and I hug my knees tighter. It hurts, everything hurts and I don't know what to do, so I just sit still, unmoving, unfeeling, my eyes fixed on the wall in front of me.

I stay like that for a while, it's only when I hear the door open that I realize how long I've been in here.

Numb from my emotions I don't even glance up to see who stands there. It doesn't matter.

Soft footsteps pad across the floor, tentatively until she stands right in front of me.

"Santana…"

The gentleness of her tone surprises me, enough so that I move my gaze from the wall to her.

The expression on her face in unreadable at first, but when she sees the tear tracks on my cheeks her eyes soften.

She repeats my name and I can't speak, all I can do it let out a strangled sob as I bury my head in my knees.

I expect her to walk away, why should she care if I'm crying, what does it matter when she hates me anyways, but to my surprise she doesn't. Instead I feel a slight dip in the couch next to me.

Carefully she places her hand on my shoulder.

I tense at her touch and I feel her start to pull away.

Hidden behind a curtain of hair I let out a whisper.

"Please stay."

The broken tone in my voice surprises even me, but it's enough to make her stay.

This time when she puts a hand on my shoulder I lean into her.

Before I've made a conscious decision I'm moving into her, needing the comfort of a friendly pair of arms.

Surprisingly she doesn't stop me; she just wraps her tiny arms around me and pulls me to her chest.

More tears fall from my eyes, and this time they aren't the quiet cries of before but sobs, when did everything get so hard, when did it get so fucked up?

But even though we are barely speaking anymore, she's here, she's willing to put aside the drama and hurtful words to comfort me. She is a better person than I can ever hope to be.

Although if I found her crying, looking so broken, I would like to think I'd put everything aside to comfort her too, right after I kicked the ass of the person that made her cry like that.

Maybe I'm not so horrible after all.

"Rachel, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I… I…" The words are strangled and broken, but I have to make her understand how sorry I am, maybe then we can have our friendship back, maybe then I can talk to her about this whole Dani/Brittany thing.

"I didn't mean to, those things I said, I'm sorry."

Her arms tighten around me.

"Shhh, just breath okay? I'm here."

I focus on her soft voice, and the gentle "Shhh" sound she continues to coo into my ear.

Eventually the sobs subside, and now only a few tears remain.

I pull away from her just enough to wipe my cheeks, and look up at her face.

Her eyes are kind, a warm chocolate brown, and her smile is soft, I relax at the sight of something so familiar.

Sitting up a bit more, but not moving away from her, I fix my own dark eyes on her.

"I'm sorry." It's insufficient but it's the only thing I can manage.

I'm not even sure what I'm apologizing for anymore, the audition, calling her dirty names, the whole prom queen outburst, or me sobbing into her chest for the past half an hour.

"I know you are… and well, I'm sorry too."

My heart nearly stops at the words, I never thought she'd apologize, not to me, but she does. I owe her an explanation, and maybe now, after everything she'll finally listen. But where to start? Unsure I just start at the beginning.

"I never wanted your part you know? I just auditioned because it was somewhere to start, and I thought it might be fun, us working together, running lines and practicing choreography. I know I went about it wrong, I should've told you, should've asked, but I let my ego get in the way. I never thought I'd admit this part… but I was also trying to have your back. Although you probably don't believe me…"

She stares up at me, confused for a few seconds, but she doesn't look upset or angry, just confused.

"What do you mean Santana?"

Taking a breath I let out a humourless laugh,

"You were worried about an understudy trying to take your part, but you had to have one. I thought that it'd be better if it was someone you knew, a friend; someone who wasn't out to sabotage you so they could have the role but someone who was rooting for you to succeed."

Rachel's mouth falls open in shock, like she can't believe it. She looks a bit like a fish and I can't help the small smile that spreads across my face.

"You… you did that for me?"

I just nod.

"I'm not as badass and heartless as everything thinks, I guess I thought you knew that."

"Santana… I'm… I'm so sorry. I had no idea." Now it's her turn to look tearful.

"I know I acted like a diva, and I'm sorry for everything I said, you've been a better friend to me than I ever deserved, I just got crazy and paranoid. You've always gotten everything, and we don't have the best track record, so I got defensive… and I'm sorry I tore up that picture…"

In a very un-me-like gesture I reach up and wipe the tear that falls from her eyes.

"I taped it back together, the picture I mean."

She looks up at me through her lashes and I see a tiny smile play across her lips.

"Before we get on with the warm and fuzzies, I also want to apologize for the outburst in the choir room… and for the prom queen thing. I mean it's true, Quinn and I stuffed the ballot box so you'd win, but we did it because we care about you, and we wanted you to have that moment."

Another tear falls from her eyes but her smile widens.

"I just, I don't even know what to say Santana, I didn't realize how much you cared, but the more I think about it, you've done so much lately, and I was awful, I told you we were never friends, and it's a lie, you're one of the best friends I've ever had… and I almost ruined it."

I reach out and take her hand, lacing our fingers together.

"We've both done our fair share of trying to ruin it, but that's over now because I care about you."

Rachel playfully swats at my arm.

"Look at that, the head bitch Santana Lopez, getting all sappy on me."

"Yeah, yeah, don't get used to it."

I roll my eyes but smile at her.

We sit in silence for a few minutes and I feel a huge weight lifted from my shoulders, the fight with her was killing me. Unfortunately now with that gone, I have more room for all things Dani and Brittany.

She must sense my emotional change because she squeezes my hand.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Sometimes it scares me how well she knows me.

I let out a sigh, but don't even consider not telling her, just an hour ago talking to her was all I wanted, I'm not about to change that now.

"Before you came in, Britt and I were talking. She um, well she kissed me, and she said that she wants me back. I told her that we can't, that I've worked too hard to get over her, and that I have Dani now. She understood, but before she left she said she'd wait, that I'd never be able to recreate what we had… I just don't know what to do, I spent months trying to move on, and I finally have. And I really care about Dani, but she isn't Britt, who I've known since we were children, who I've loved for as long as I can remember..."

Rachel's expression changes to a more serious expression, her brows furrowed in concentration.

"So basically, you still love her, and you want her back, but you're scared of giving her your heart again. And albeit that you didn't mention it, I'm sure you are also concerned for Dani's feelings, and the inevitable distance between MIT and New York?"

I stare at her, wide eyed. Damn she really does know me.

"That pretty much covers it."

"Hmmm, well San, speaking from experience if you love someone you have to be with them, no matter what the risks or obstacles because you never know when they could be gone forever."

I nod and squeeze her hand, I know how hard it is for her to talk about Finn.

"I mean Brittany has always been your soul mate Santana, everyone knows it, including you. And if you're worried about Dani, I wouldn't be, she'll understand."

"What about the distance though Rach? That turned out so awesome last time you know…"

The sarcastic tone of my voice is bitter, but she just laughs.

"Isn't that obvious?"

I shake my head, and she laughs again.

"Sometimes you can be so dense… If you chose her, she'll leave MIT to come to New York. She'll easily be about to get into a college dance program, and then you can be together, and no offense but you'll have to get your own place because as much as I care about both of you, I don't want to listen you guys have lady sex all night."

I laugh at her last comment, but fall silent instantly when her words sink in.

"You really think that's her plan?"

"I don't think it, I know it."

I raise an eyebrow at her, "I'm supposed to be the one with the Mexican third eye, not you, how can you possibly know that for sure?"

"Well, let's just say a little birdy, and by birdy I mean a tall, blonde, beauty told me."

Giving her an incredulous look she just shrugs.

"I saw her in the hallway before I came in, that's how I knew you were in here."

Blank shock washes through me. Of course she talked to Brittany, but why did she come in here?

"You came in here to find me? It wasn't an accident"?

"Of course not Santana, when Brittany told me what happened I came here immediately, I know you and I figured you'd be upset. Just because we were fighting doesn't mean I didn't care. I love you, and I never want to see you upset."

My heart swells with emotion, for one Rachel Berry, and I can't stop myself from attacking her with a giant bear hug.

She just chuckles.

"Oh and I love you too Rach, I'm glad we're friends again!"

She pulls back smiling,

"As much as I'm enjoying this sappy side of you, I think it's time you go get your girl."

I nod at her. And take off, still barefoot, my makeup probably smeared all over my face, but it doesn't matter, because everything will be okay as long as I have friends like Rachel, and as long as I get the girl of course.


End file.
